What To Do If Your Man Still Doesn’t Understand Why You’re a Feminist in the 21st Century

So you’re in a relationship with someone who claims to care about you—but every time feminism comes up, his eyes roll, his defenses go up, or worse, he insists, “Aren’t we past all that?” If your man still doesn’t understand why you’re a feminist in this century—a century that was supposed to be better for women but still isn’t—you’re not alone. But you are at a crossroads.

1. Ask Yourself: Is It Ignorance or Entitlement?

Not knowing is one thing. Refusing to know is another. If he’s open but uninformed, start with stories, not stats—your stories, your daily realities, the invisible labor you perform. Show him the lived experience behind the politics. But if he dismisses, mocks, or belittles feminism, recognize: he’s not confused—he’s comfortable.

2. Lay Out the Reality He Doesn’t See

Feminism exists because:

• You still earn less for the same work.

• You do more unpaid labor at home, even when working full-time.

• Your safety in public spaces is never guaranteed.

• Your reproductive rights are still being debated—by men.

This is not theoretical. It’s daily survival.

3. Don’t Apologize for Your Beliefs

Being a feminist isn’t a quirk. It’s a requirement for any woman who values her autonomy, safety, and future. If he sees that as a threat, ask yourself: Why does your empowerment feel threatening to him?

4. Remember: It’s Not Your Job to Raise a Grown Man

You are not his teacher, mother, or emotional mule. You can guide, but not drag him into awareness. If he’s not willing to grow with you, he’s holding you back.

In the 21st century, being with a man who doesn’t understand feminism isn’t just a red flag—it’s a liability. You deserve a partner, not a project.